On being 27
Writing this to remember what it was like to be 27
Now that I’m 28, publishing my 27 recap. Publishing this late, but I did actually write it on time this year!
Last year, I wrote about nestling into the mundanity of life. This year was learning that life, in fact, does not move linearly! Where 26 was familiarity and routine, 27 was a year of change.
Life update #1: I got married!
While the legality of marriage doesn’t make much of a difference to me, it being a celebration of our partnership feels incredibly meaningful. The word “partner” feels so apt. Coming home always feels like a warm hug. Though we’re officially married from our tiny city hall celebration with our brothers, I can’t wait to celebrate it more in Aruba.
And some big sub-news: I’ve decided to change my last name. It was one of the harder decisions I’ve made - and to be honest, neither option felt quite right. It was not something I had thought much about before, and it’s not an easy decision to make if you don’t have a strong opinion about it. As it turns out, nearly everyone else does - either you’re not a feminist or you won’t feel like a family unit; you don’t have a strong sense of identity or you have a strong enough sense that changing your name won’t affect it. Sometimes, it’s just cultural - but what happens when you and your partner’s cultures have different customs?
All the noise aside, I feel quite whole with, and am simultaneously very nervous, for the official change. Stay tuned.
Life update #2: I was promoted, and then switched roles into management
I’ve been at Meta for nearly 6 years now. With the recent promotion (to a staff engineer!) and subsequent role change (engineering manager), I’ve never felt more motivated to continue growing.
I’m calling this out explicitly this year, because I’ve spent a good chunk of the last few years struggling. When I turned 26, I wrote about learning how to roll with the ups and downs of progress in the gym, and finally understanding that it all leads toward progress. It took me until this year to understand the same for my career.
A large part of my identity growing up was how smart I am, and how hard I work, and how successful I was becoming. And while I was always aware I hinged my self confidence and identity a bit too heavily on this very… corporate framework, it served me quite well.
Over the last few years at Meta, I found myself no longer able to measure myself so clearly on this framework anymore. There were still promotions and end-of-year ratings, but it no longer motivated me as much as it did in the past. My mentors would ask me what my 10-year plan was, and I could only think of early retirement. Was my motivation withered away somewhere in the corporate grind, or was it possible that I was never actually that ambitious to begin with?
And finally, I’ve found it again. I’m working quite hard in my new role, and I’ve started a small side project outside of work. I no longer feel like I want to retire early. I want to keep learning, I want to keep pushing, I want to be an inspiration for others that have the same goals.
As I find out again and again, life ebbs and flows.
Life update #3: family in New York
A few weeks ago, my brother and my cousin came to the apartment to play Mario Party. They both moved to the city very recently; and while New York has really felt like home for a while now, their moves made the city feel just that much more complete. <3
At least twice a year, I reread Joan Didion’s Goodbye to All That. Every read, I find different parts of the essay that resonate with me. I was also in love with New York, ‘the way you love the first person who touches you and never love anyone quite that way again’. But that kind of love, as with Joan Didion, is in the past tense now. I do still love New York, but in a different way.
My partner’s lived here for 10 years, Joan Didion stayed for 8, and I’m now approaching 6. Life keeps moving on.
Notable things from the last year:
My bachelorette was seriously the best weekend ever. To say I’m grateful for my friends does not begin to capture how much effort and care they put into planning it. I’m so, so thankful.
Some of my best friends got married! Weddings hit different when they’re part of your core squad :’)
John Proctor is the Villain - MUST watch on broadway
Lots of TV - Severance, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, The Rehearsal.
Recharge trip - Taiwan, New Zealand, and Australia.
Some things I’m looking forward to:
Competing in my first Hyrox tournament in the mixed doubles division next week - sooo pumped
Aruba <3
Honeymoon in Greece + Italy
Winter Euro trip to tour the Christmas markets
So many beautiful and meaningful moments this year! <3 Can't wait to celebrate with you in June!!!!